Less trouble to be alone

I remember reading a horoscope that said that I may sometimes feel as if I am not of this world-like I was all alone. And that is how I feel sometimes. I look around at all of the people who have been placed in my life and I wonder why (in spite of so many people), do I always feel alone. I have a trusting nature, and I honestly want to believe the best in people. I take them at face value. I have a hard time with the concept of deceit. I don't know why people just don't lay their cards on the table. There is ulterior motives in almost every relationship I've had. So I lay my cards on the table only for the others to look at them and walk away without showing theirs. I am sick of that gamble. There is no payoff. Lies and tricks to get you where people want you to be. While I revel in being needed, others revel in using me. And the more that I try to be on the lookout for bullshit, the better people get at hiding their agenda. I go back to my mantra that I can only change me, so I am wondering what I am supposed to change. Do I just stop trusting people? Resign to the fact that I can only have shallow relationships so as to protect my feelings? Do I not offer my help or expertise when presented with a cry for help? I don't know if I can harden myself this way. I don't want to be hardened this way. So for now, I think I will take a social break. Just until I can figure out how to live in my world full of liars and still maintain my integrity without being fooled.