Behavior Modification

So as not to fall into any old habits, I am trying my best to take good care of me right now. I think a lot of times, we lose focus of what is important to us at a fundamental level. Being a natural care giver, I naturally sacrifice myself. I love to give. I love to connect people. I love to give valuable information. This is truly my own personal joy. I am the oldest child in my family, and learned very early to anticipate other people's needs, and go on and meet them. That is enough to keep one so busy so as not to focus on the tough job of self healing. We can get so busy with other relationships that we must maintain, that we lose ourselves instead of cultivating ourselves. It seems like such a selfish concept to someone like me. I had to learn that behavior. I have to practice it regularly in order to remember to nurture myself. Don't get me wrong, I am no schlumpadinga! I am carefully groomed and have perfected aesthetics to a science. What I am talking about is on the inside. It's the innocent child inside that we all have. I love to laugh. I make it my business to do it often. If it's with my girlfriends, my children, or a person I am in line with at the market, I try to find the humor in it somewhere. I like to look at the sky and the water, and the trees in all of their magnificence and try to figure out where I am in the grand scheme of things. I used to play outside and laugh until I cried. I used to make wishes on stars and kiss my Mommy on the lips. I used to do all of those things as a giggling little girl. And they made me happy. So when I get right down to taking care of myself, I do all of those things. It brings me right back to the fundamentals. It helps me nourish my soul and get stronger. These things have nothing to do with anybody else. They don't cost anything, and I don't even have to go out of my way to do them. But these few moments for myself help me love my kids harder, helps me get more creative, and helps me appreciate having so many talents and ideas. Not to say that I enjoy life's little hiccups! It's taken a long time for me to cultivate this in myself. I am simply saying that I take them as speed bumps to remember my little girl inside, and make sure she is happy and smiling yet tough enough to roll with it
and come out on top.